Happy Birthday, Steve! Not only do you get the honor of having a post congratulating you on your long journey around the sun for the twenty-fifth (?) time, but it's also the first post on my blog for this year! Don't you feel honored?
Here are nine new extremely useful words to expand your knowledge of the English language.
carperpetuation - the act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance
elbonics - the actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater or airplane
lactocartomangulation - man-handling the "open-here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to using the other side
phonesia - the affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer
aquadextrous - possessing the ability to turn on and off the water of a bathtub with your toes
disconfect - to sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove the germs
frust - the small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to sweep it under the rug
Peppier - the waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose is to be walking around and asking diners if they want pepper
telecrastination - the act of always letting the phone ring at least three times before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away
I hope you find many meaningful times to use these words in the years to come.
What a disgrace!
8 years ago
7 comments:
Unless it is of course sticky candy I have to defend myself of disconfecting food, because either if you have a hairy pet, or haven't swept in that corner in a while. There will usually be, as some say "bonuses" that will be blown off and therefore leaving the germs to fester untouched. Which in my opinion the germs are like a super-bonus.
MAN! You still don't want blog spam?!!! I hereby call a vote to have Abbey remove the word verification. All in favor say AYEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Oh, and happy somewhat late but nevertheless important birthday Steve!
(And no, I can't walk downstairs to say it in person.)
WOW! I feel really honored! And in light of what a gargantuan occasion this is, I have written a story that should be a fitting conclusion to your wonderful birthday post! Thank you!
The morning of my birthday I began vacuuming my room, I suddenly carperpetuated, and gasped when I finally had to remove the lint manually. After the long job of sweeping my room I decided to sweep the hall, but the frust just wouldn’t go under the carpet and I ended up having to remove it with a wet paper towel. Next I decided to have breakfast, and I noticed that there was a new carton of milk. I decided to open it. Upon lactocartonamgulationing the carton, I decided that I didn’t really want any milk. I decided to call all my friends to invite them to a party, but as soon as I put the phone to my ear I had a bad case of phonesia, so I had to cancel the party. Next I went to see a movie and it was totally sold out except for one seat. I was in a fierce elbonic fight with the guy next to me, but I pulled out the wad of gum and he backed off. After the battle was over, I picked my gum off of the armrest, and disconfected it and popped it back in my mouth. After all the hard battling at the movie theater, I decide to take a bath, I was so tired I didn’t even bother to sit up, I then aquadextrously worked the faucet. After my bath, I heard the telephone ringing, but I was really in a telecrastination type mood, and I decided to just let the machine get it. It was a friend of mine inviting me out for a nice dinner at a really expensive restaurant! Shortly after getting there, sitting down, being waited on, and being served, a Peppier, a Cheesier, and a Saltier came to help make our meal taste better. I came home feeling like I had just had the best day of my life.
--The End
Good one, shnabs! And happy birthday, Steve. Sorry you didn't get a dedicated post, but no one but me gets dedicated posts on my blog anymore.
Sorry, Joe. I don't think you win for having spam on my blog. Noticed you worked on your blog... and you still don't have a de-spammer. I get my hopes up for something interesting with those thousands of comments, and then!.. nothing. Again. Man, don't those germs on candy taste good? Dunno who would want to ruin them with blowing at them. Especially the ones off the lakeside floor? Mmmmm. :D
Wow, it sounds like you had a fun birthday, Steve! The part about putting the gum on the arm rest and then eating it afterwards reminds me of that part in Elf where he's eating gum off the hand rails in New York. It tastes better like that. You ought to try the lollipop one. First you get it thoroughly wet with spit. You then let it dry just enough that it's extremely sticky. You put it on the bottom of your shoe and walk around all day. At the end of the day, you have a nice tasty treat waiting to be eaten.
I have this funny feeling, Ben, that you didn't even tell Steve happy BD on gtalk. hmmm? :P
I'll stick up for Ben, He not only chatted me on my birthday, he sent me an email. :-)
LOL about Elf, that was really funny.
Oops...I missed it.
When was it?
Happy Belated Birthday, Steve.
May you be richly blessed in your 38th year!
Wait, are we talking about the same Steve?
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